Stop blaming the seed

Sometimes I feel squeezed like I am living in tight quarters. I try to blossom but I’m butting up against hard surfaces like a plant growing through a concrete sidewalk. People glorify when other people survive despite all odds. That only makes me feel worse about myself that I am not somehow persevering. I wonder about this. One thing that is helpful for me is to think of myself as a seed in the ground. A seed needs a lot of things to grow. Some seeds never get what they need and die before blooming. There’s no rule book that says everything will grow and thrive. 

What is the core concept I’m getting at here? Layers. Some of the stories that have most inspired me are ones where the self was most challenged, stricken with violence like in the hallocaust or physical challenges like Hellen Keller. The idea of layers is that even if the conditions you find yourself in are horrible, you can retreat into self. If your physical body is failing you, you can even retreat more deeply into self and if necessary, away from your body.

On the flip side, it feels better to expand. It feels better to occupy our bodies. It feels good to expand to feel connected to our homes and communities. Like a seed growing into a fruiting plant and feeding fauna, there is something natural and beautiful about this expansion and connection to the rest of the ecosystem. 

I don’t buy this notion that money doesn’t buy happiness. This is a lie that rich people tell other people. By all means accumulate wealth. Surround yourself with beauty and positive conditions. Move out of that crowded, noisy, polluted neighborhood, to somewhere more beautiful where you don’t need to worry about your car getting broken into and where you can walk out your door and get fresh air and say hello to smiling neighbors. Then tell me if pursuing money is not useful.

So rather than judging yourself for not meeting some ideal or shaming yourself for not blossoming, check out your conditions. Are you even in the right soil? If not, that might be the problem. And if it is the soil, then know you always have a deeper self to retreat into, one that is safe and beautiful and perfect.